Dauntless Struggle
by Reedstorm17
Summary: Ha knows she's meant for Dauntless. Her test results proved that. But she's no match for the other initiates when it comes to combat, and she knows she's failing. She doesn't want to end up factionless, but she fears it will happen.
1. Chapter 1

I never took choosing which faction to live in for the rest of my life seriously until I was fifteen years old. In one year I would find out which faction I belonged in, and then I'd have to choose where to go, which might result in leaving my family and my faction, Abnegation.

I know that will happen. I am not selfless, no matter how hard I try to be. Wherever I'm meant to go, it is not Abnegation.

I'm sixteen now. I live with my parents, my twin sister Ashley, and my seven-year-old brother Marvin. Marvin is a very selfless kid. He will probably choose Abnegation when the time comes.

Where Ashley belongs is a mystery. She'a probably uncertain, like me.

I guess I'll rely on the aptitude test that I have to take tomorrow.

"Ha!" My mother calls. "Sasha's at the door."

Sasha's my best friend. She was orphaned at a young age. She lives with another family now, but she is still uneasy around them.

I dread leaving Abnegation, but in two days, I probably will.


	2. Aptitude test

**Chapter 2**

Lunch is over. I'm surprisingly calm, not feeling like I'm going to throw up everything I just ate.

I sit between Ashley and Sasha.

"I wonder how this test works," Ashley tells me. "I mean, how is a test going to tell us where we belong?"

An Erudite boy leans over. "It's a simulation."

Ashley shrugs. "Thanks for telling me that." she says unenthusiastically.

Sasha gets up. "My turn. Good luck."

"You too." I nod to her.

After a very long time, Sasha comes back looking shocked.

"What?" I ask.

Sasha shakes her head.

My turn.

Ashley watches me leave.

"Room six."

I go to room six. A Dauntless man waits inside.

"What's your name?" he asks.

"Ha Meeks."

"Nice to meet you, Ha." The man nods. "I'm Kaden. I'll be your test administrator."

"Okay," I look around, shocked by the mirrors on the walls. I've never seen so many mirrors at once. In fact, I've hardly ever seen mirrors.

"Sit."

I tear my eyes away from the mirrors and sit in the chair.

"Drink this," Kaden instructs. "It will go into effect in sixty seconds."

I swallow the contents of the vial without a second thought.

Darkness encloses me.

...

I'm back in the Cafeteria, but the tables and the students are gone.

_Where is everyone?_

Then I see just one table. On it are two baskets. One has cheese and one has a long knife.

I pick up the knife. Before I can grab the cheese as well the baskets disappear.

That's strange. I've never seen something vanish into thin air.

I hear a growling sound. I whirl around quickly to see a large attack dog. Its fur is bristled, and its teeth are bared.

I take a deep breath. This dog is going to kill me. I don't have any other option.

I raise the knife and stab the dog. The knife goes deep into its back.

The dog lets out a gurgling whimper and collapses to the ground.

I drop the knife. It clatters on the floor.

Then the dog disappears, as does everything around me. I'm glad I don't have to look at it anymore.

Now I'm on a bus. How did I get here?

A man sits in a seat next to the pole I'm holding on to. I look at the paper he's reading. A headline stands out.

**Brutal Murderer Finally Apprehended **

That doesn't sound good. I look at the picture. The man in the picture looks familiar for some reason.

The man holding the paper move it aside and glances at me.

"Do you know this guy?" He asks, pointing to the paper.

The word "yes" passes lips before I realize what I'm saying. Stupid me!

"That was a lie, actually." I quickly tell the man. Of course _that's_ a lie.

The man takes out a gun and clicks a bullet into place.

I raise my hands. "Do what you want with me. Shoot me, arrest me, whatever. I don't care. But I do not know that guy."

I stare straight at the man as he raises the gun and fires.

...

My eyes fly open. Kaden is standing over me.

"What was my result?" I ask weakly.

"Dauntless." Kaden replies. "I could tell from the beginning. You took the knife. Even though you were going to grab the cheese too." He laughs.

My face heats up.

"Then you brought yourself to kill the dog."

"Please don't remind me." I groan.

"Then you were very brave when you told the man he could do what he wanted with you. Not many people do that. Then you watched him shoot you."

"So... Dauntless, right? That's what you said."

"Is it even a question?"

"I guess not."

Kaden lets me leave. I go back to the Cafeteria.

I sit down confidently.

A few minutes later Ashley comes in looking pale and sweaty.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"How are you okay?" Ashley questions me. "That was so scary!"

Sasha hasn't spoken.

"What did you think?" I ask her.

"A little scary, I guess. Especially that dog."

I groan. Why does everything remind me of stabbing the dog?

I know one thing though. I'm choosing Dauntless tomorrow. I regret having to leave my family, but I'm not selfless at all.


	3. Choosing

Ashley went straight to her room after school to think about tomorrow. I, however, don't. I have already decided. I don't need time alone. If today is my last day in Abnegation, I'll spend it with my family.

"You don't want to think about which faction to choose tomorrow, Ha?" Dad asks.

I shake my head. "I've already decided."

Mom sits down at the table. I sigh.

"My aptitude was Dauntless. Straight forward. My administrator said so."

My father was born Dauntless. My mother was always Abnegation.

They understand.

...

The next morning, I hear Marvin's small voice from the kitchen.

"What do you mean? Ashley and Ha aren't returning?"

I open the door.

"Ha, Mom and Dad say you're not coming back home. Where are you going?"

Mom sighs. "Ha, why don't you explain it to him?"

"Marvin, you see, all sixteen-year-olds have to choose a faction. I have a strong aptitude for Dauntless."

Marvin understands.

I feel like I missed something. Something I should have taken note of.

...

I watch as an Amity boy chooses Amity. An Erudite girl chooses Erudite.

Everyone's choosing their own factions.

Fi ally a Dauntless girl walks up, slots her palm, and holds it over the Candor glass.

The first to switch.

The pace picks up.

I hug Ashley. "I'm going to choose Dauntless." I whisper.

Ashley nods. Her eyes look sad.

_Which faction will she choose?_

After a while I hear my name.

"Ha Meeks."

I get up and boldy walk forward and take the knife. I'm ready.

The knife is small, unlike the one in the aptitude test, but still, memories of stabbing the dog come to mind.

I push them away.

I lightly run the knife over my palm, near my thumb. I glance at Ashley, then turn my hand over. My blood drops onto the coals and they sizzle.

I walk to the other Dauntless initiates.

"Ashley Meeks."

Asey slowly walks forward and takes the knife. I don't see her slit her palm, but I do see her look over her shoulder at me.

It's all in her eyes.

_I'm sorry._

The Erudite water retrieves her blood.


	4. Jump off a roof?

_Erudite?_

Why would she choose Erudite?

Ashley walks to the other Erudite initiates.

Why Erudite? Of all the factions she could have chosen. I knew she wasn't selfless but... _Erudite?_

An Amity girl transfers to Dauntless. She comes and stands beside me. She is about my height, maybe a little taller.

Before long, Sasha is called. She hesitates for a moment before slicing her hand.

She stares at the bowls. Why isn't she just choosing Abnegation or her aptitude? Unless Abnegation is her aptitude.

Finally Sasha chooses Dauntless. She comes to join me.

When the ceremony ends, We all run down the stairs. Where are we going?

"Where are we going?" I shout. No one hears me. Oh well. I guess I'll find out.

Everyone stops at the train tracks as a train comes. The Dauntless-born initiates are the first to run, grabbing the railings and pulling themselves in.

If they can do it, I can do it.

I run to the train with Sasha close behind. I grab the rail and hang on to it. The wind tugs at me, but I cling on, then pull myself inside.

Sasha scrambles on with the help of an Amity boy.

The Amity girl who had chosen not long after me comes to join is.

"Hi, I'm Willis from Amity, who are you?" The boy introduces himself to us.

"I'm Ha."

"You?"

"Sasha."

"That's my friend Hershey." Willis points to the girl. "She's kind of shy. Otherwise she would have introduced herself by now."

Hershey smacks Willis's arm.

After a while, we all jump off the train and onto a high roof.

It was fun, the fright of being up so high.

Everyone makes it, except a small Amity girl who is clawing at the edge of a roof.

"Help me!" she screams.

A tall Dauntless boy steps forward and pulls her onto the roof.

"Oh, thank you!" the Amity girl gasps. "I thought I was gone for sure!"

"Who going first?" A Dauntless initiate asks.

"What do you mean?" Willis asks him.

"I mean," the initiate says with a laugh. "Who's going to jump off this roof first?"

"You can't seriouy be sending us to our deaths!" an Erudite girl exclaims. She runs forward and right off the roof.

Wait a minute. What just happened? I never thought the Erudite were as stupid as that.

Then I hear someone below call, "First jumper- Selina!"

Next is the Amity girl who was struggling at the edge of the roof. She looks uncertain. Then a large Erudite girl pushes her over the edge of the roof.

The the girl screams and flails as she falls. Then her screams are cut short as she hits the net.

Someone from Dauntless grabs the blue collar of the girl's shirt.

"Do you want me to throw you off the roof? Where there _isn't_ a net?"

"N-no." The girl's voice shakes.

"Then why would you push that girl off?" He demands sharply.

"She was taking forever!"

He puts her down. "Do something like that agai. And you'll find yourself factionless. Do you understand?"

The girl nods.

"Good."

I stare, shocked.

Sasha jumps off the roof, followed by two Candor. I'm ready now. I jump off the roof and close my eyes, feeling the wind rush through my hair.

Then I hit the net.

I grab a hand and they pull me out of the net.

I see that it is Kaden from my aptitude test.

"Why, hello, Ha. I figured I'd see you here."

I laugh. "That was fun!"


	5. Dauntless headquarters

It turns out that Kaden not only works the aptitude tests, but he also trains initiates. A Dauntless-born woman trains the Dauntless-born initiates. I think her name's Ruthie. I'm not sure because I wasn't really paying attention to the Dauntless-borns.

"You're probably all wondering what faction I came from. I don't want you all nagging me, so I'll tell you now. Candor. Not what you expected, huh?" Kaden asks.

Candor. For some reason, I'm not surprised.

"Then how come I don't recognize you?" A Candor girl, Sandra, asks.

"Do you think you knew everyone in your faction?"

"How old are you?" Selina, the first jumper, calls out.

Kaden glares at her. "You think I'm going to tell you that?"

Everyone laughs. Selina turns bright red.

"Probably fifty," a Candor boy snickers.

Kaden whirls around. "I'm twenty-four, okay?" he snaps.

No one speaks after that.

"Looks like that quieted you down. My name's Kaden. I'll be your initiation instructor."

He shows us around The Pit, as they call it. Soon we walk over a bridge that over stands angry waters.

"Never jump over these railings. You _will_ die. You've been warned. Keep that in mind."

In front of me, Willis shudders.

"Now, I'll bet you're all hungry. Good thing we're all ready for you."

Sasha and I sit down at a table. Willis and Hershey sit down across from us.

"I don't think we met properly," Hershey says, flashing an annoyed glance at Willis. "I'm Hershey from Amity."

Sasha and I introduce ourselves to her.

The food is great.

After the meal, we go to the dorm. I take a lower bunk. Hershey takes the top bunk.

Sasha climbs to the top of the one next to mine. Willis shrugs and takes the one below her.

Kaden exains the way initiation works. We might not all be members.

"Why don't you all get to know each other?" he suggests.

Everyone laughs.

"Sorry." Kaden backs out of the dorm. "I'm being annoying, aren't I?"

More laughter.

"Alright," Kaden closes the door.

I miss Abnegation, but I feel that I can fit in well here. After all, my aptitude is Dauntless.


	6. Now what?

"We're learning how to fire guns today."

I wake up when I hear Willis say that.

"What?" Kita, the Amity girl who was pushed off the roof yesterday, and also the smallest initiate, exclaims.

"What did you expect?" The bossy Erudite girl- I think her name is Trista- snorts.

Kita glares at her.

I get up. Sasha walks beside me excitedly to the training room.

There are nine guns spread across the table. The two Candor transfers are already there, waiting impatiently.

"Finally!" Ferb sighs. "It took you forever!"

"I just want to get started!" Sandra agrees.

"Then what are we waiting for?" Trista picks up a gun and fires it at the wall.

I gasp.

Hershey screams.

Kaden rushes into the room. "Put the gun down!"

Trista drops the gun. It lands on her foot.

Kaden stares at the bullet-hole in the wall. "That could have been someone's head," he muttered. "Never play with guns. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Trista says quietly.

"I hope so." Kaden picks up the gun. "I'm going to have to keep an eye on you." To the rest of us, he says, "Watch me."

He points the gun at the target. His feet are apart, and he's keeping his eyes right on the target, not letting them stray. He fires. The bullet hits only an inch from the center.

We each grab a gun and find targets. The sound of guns firing quickly fills the room, and it hurts my ear. Eventually I get used to it and focus on hitting the target.

I raise the gun and keep my eye on the target. I hesitate before squeezing the trigger.

I jump. Recovering, I check to see where my bullet went.

There is a hole a few inches above the target.

"You're close," Sasha encourages me. I look over at her target. There are two holes outside the target and two on the outer ring. She's doing well.

Time to focus.

It takes me there more tries to hit the target. I finally hit the outer ring.

It takes me four rounds to hit the center.

So they have us firing guns. What will they have us do next, throw knives?

It turns out to be just that.


	7. What's next?

After I set down my gun, Sasha runs up to me. "That was kind of hard. That gun was heavy!"

I laugh. "I hit the ceiling too many times."

"What are you jabbering about?" Hershey comes up behind us.

"Jabbering?" Sasha repeats. "Really?"

I laugh. "The activity we were just doing."

"That was easy!"

Right. Hershey was the first to hit the center of the target.

We get our lunch and find a table. After a few minutes Willis comes and joins us.

"Where were you?" Sasha asks.

"Oh, I just stayed by a few minutes for some extra practice."

"Hey! That's cheating!" Hershey teases.

Willis punches her shoulder playfully. "Not really. That was hard. It took forever to hit the target. How did you do it so quickly?"

Hershey shrugs.

"It was a little hard." I admit. "But I got it eventually."

"_You got it eventually._" I hear a mocking voice and look up. Trista is passing by our table. "Eventually, Stiff. It only took me one round to hit the center of that target. How many did it take you? Oh, yeah, four!" she snickers. "Oh, and the other Stiff." she turns her attention to Sasha. "You'll never beat me!"

Hershey stands up. "Hey, shut up, Nose! It only took me three shots!"

Trista looks so insulted. Lifting her head in the air, she storms away.

Sasha and I crack up. "That was awesome, Hershey!"

Hershey giggles. "It's fun to insult an Erudite."

I suddenly think of my sister. I may never see her again. Why did she choose Erudite?

"Are you okay, Ha?" Sasha asks.

I nod. "Just thinking of Ashley."

"At least she didn't die."

Now I feel terrible. Sasha's right. At least my family's still alive. Unlike hers.

Kaden walks in and claps his hands. I jump. No one in Abnegation ever claps their hands. It calls too much attention to themselves.

"Time to go!"

"What are we doing?" Sandra calls.

Kaden smiles. "Throwing knives!"

Oh, great.


	8. Knives

We file back into the training room and we each grab a knife. Holding the knife reminds me of killing the dog in the aptitude test.

I shudder.

Kaden comes up behind me. "I think everyone here had to do it, Ha."

"But maybe they wanted to." I mutter. "I didn't. I only did it out of self-defense."

"That's what made it brave."

I sigh and face the target. I weakly hold up the knife.

I hear a slam and turn my head. Kita has hit the target.

I give force to my hand and let go of the knife. It clatters to the ground in front of me.

"You're not going to get anywhere if you keep doing it like that." Kaden warns.

I hear Trista snickering farther to my left. I ignore her.

"What did I do wrong?" I ask.

"You can't just let go of the knife. Try thrusting your hand forward and letting go at the last second."

I do as I'm told, but I let go a second too late. The knife lands a few feet in front of me.

I'm not the only one. Sasha and Hershey still struggle. Willis looks like he wants nothing to do with the knife. Maybe he's in the same situation as I am. Or maybe he's used to Amity where they wouldn't even dream of using knives.

A knife hitting the board shakes me.

I focus on the target and position the knife. I let go a second earlier than I did last time.

It feels great to have the knife out of my hands.

I hear it hit the board and look up. I hit close to the center.

I'm the fourth initiate to hit the target.

After two more throws I hit the center. Soon, everyone has hit they target except Willis and Trista.

"Hurry up and hit the target!" Kaden yells.

"I'm trying, but-" Trista starts. "Focus!"

The rest of us move aside to watch.

Slam!

Willis has hit the target. We all watch as Trista's face turns red with fury. She focuses on the target, but at the last second turns and points it at Willis.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Kaden runs over and grabs the hand holding the knife. "Drop that right this second!"

Trista twists and digs the knife tip into his hand. Kaden screams and jumps back. After inspecting the scratch, he turns back, flaring with anger.

I shrink back.

"You are nothing but trouble! You hear me?"

Trista throws the knife. Willis gasps and drops to the ground at the last second. The knife lodges itself in the wall.

Kaden grabs the knife and leans in close. "This _will_ affect your rank. If you ask me, you should have stayed in Erudite." He looks at the rest of us. "Sorry, everyone. You may go back to the dorm."

Willis rises to his feet, his face pale.

"Are you okay?" Kaden asks.

Willis nods, eyes wide.

"Go with your friends."

Willis walks over to where I stand with Sasha and Hershey, each of us wearing the same shocked expression.


	9. Tattoos

"Are you sure you're okay?" Hershey asks anxiously.

"Yes,"Willis says, grimacing. "Just scared. I mean, if I had waited one more second..."

"Let's not think about that." I interrupt.

"We have some time before we have to report to dinner," Sasha looks at her watch. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know," Willis shrugs. "Play some kind of joke on Trista?"

I laugh. "Probably not a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Oh, come on!" Hershey sighs. "What do you want to do, Sasha?"

"Up to you."

"Let's just walk around. Explore the compound. See what's here."

We walk around the pit and stand on the bridge overlooking the chasm.

"Wow," Hershey stares down at the waters. "Isn't that amazing? The water's all rough and there's so many rocks... Kaden's right. Certain death."

"Didn't Kaden say someone jumps in there every year?" Willis asks.

"Yes," Hershey sighs. "So sad."

I stare down at the waters, wondering how it would feel to jump off this bridge, knowing you'd have no chance of survival.

There would have to be a reason. No one would just jump for the fun of it.

I promise myself that I'll never jump off this bridge.

"Are we going to stand here all day?" Willis asks impatiently. "Come on! We already knew this was here!"

So we all keep walking until we come to the tattoo parler.

"Hello!" We hear a voice above us and look up. Kita has climbed onto a window.

Sasha laughs and waves.

"What are you doing up there?" I ask.

"I like climbing things." Kita shrugs. "I used to always climb the trees in the Amity orchards." she changes the subject. "Are you getting a tattoo?"

"No. Just exploring." Willis calls up.

"Why not get a tattoo? I got one!"

"Really?" Hershey squeals. "Come show us!"

Kita carefully climba down from the window and rolls up her sleeve. A branch stretches from her elbow to her wrist, twisting around her arm, and on the end, an apple hanging down.

"It's to remind me of the Amity orchards." she explains. "You should each get something to remind you of your old lives."

"WhI ever said we were getting tattoos?" Willis asks.

Kita laughs. "Go in there and get a tattoo. I dare you!"

"No."

"I will!" Hershey exclaims. She turns to me and Sasha. "How about you?"

I pause. "I'll consider it. Let's go in."

Willis sighs and follows us. "This doesn't mean I'm getting a tattoo," he mumbles.

"You don't have to." Hershey walks up to one of the workers. "May I get a tattoo?"

"Oh, sure!" The worker steps aside to let her sit down. "What would you like?"

"Well, I was thinking maybe..."

Sasha and I leave Hershey to get her tattoo and try to decide what to get.

"Maybe I'll get the symbol for Dauntless." Sasha decides. "Since my life in Abnegation wasn't so great. Now I'm starting a new life here."

I nod. I start to get an idea. I have chosen Dauntless, Ashley has chosen Erudite, and I still have a brother back in Abnegation. I wonder what this will look like.

I walk up to one of the workers.

"Hi! My name is Juliana. Are you here to get a tattoo?"

I nod. Then I notice the tattoo needles and shudder.

"It won't hurt as much as you think," Juliana laughs. "I for my first tattoo when I was thirteen. I was so frightened."

"I'm guessing you were Dauntless-born?" I ask.

"Yes, I was. Are you a transfer?"

I hesitate. Will she be like Trista? Will she call me a Stiff?

I'll take a chance.

"Yes. My friend and I transferred from Abnegation."

"Welcome. So, what would you like a tattoo of?"

I explain it to her.

"What do you think it would look like if the symbols for Dauntless, Erudite, and Abnegation were overlapping? I have two siblings. One in Erudite and one back in Abnegation."

Juliana thinks for a second. "Why don't we find out?"

She picks up a pencil and draws each symbol on top of the others, then slides the paper across the table to show me.

"I like it." I say. "Put it on my shoulder."

Juliana picks up the needle, and I back away. Juliana laughs.

"You're going to have to face more if you make it to stage 2."

Why did she have to tell me that?

Finally I sit down and she digs the needle into my shoulder. A small cry escapes me as pain spreads through my shoulder.

After what feels like hours, Juliana straightens in her chair and sets the needle on the table. "Done."

I crane my neck to look at it. It looks even better on my shoulder than it did on the paper.

Sasha is waiting for me. She pulls her shirt aside and I see that she has the Dauntless fire tattooed on her right shoulder blade.

"What did you get?"

I show her my shoulder.

"What is it?"

I explain what it means.

"Clever. Hershey's waiting. She can't wait to show you. She already shown me and Willis."

I follow her to the door. Hershey and Willis are outside.

Hershey rolls up her sleeve. I gasp.

The dog from the aptitude test.

...

"Why that?" I ask later.

"Because," Hershey explains. "It's all I can think about these days. So I figured that it would remind me that it was only in my head, even though it felt so real. I mean, I didn't kill it at first. I killed it to save the girl."

"What girl?" I ask.

"You didn't see the girl?"

"No." I say. "I had to kill it immediately. It was going to attack me. But wait. If you saved the girl, how did Abnegation get ruled out?"

"I refused to tell that man I knew he guy. I said I didn't care if it could save him. I know it wasn't right, but I didn't know what he would do if I said yes, and I didn't really want to find out."

"I punched that guy in the face and asked why it mattered." Willis laughs.

"I ended up getting shot." I say.

Sasha, Hershey, and Willis stare at me. "What?"

"Yeah, I accidentally said yes. But I quickly covered it up. Then he shot me. And the test ended. Dauntless no doubt."

"What did you tell that guy, Sasha?" Willis asks.

Sasha breaks into a sweat. "Um... we really shouldn't be talking about the aptitude test." she says nervously.

"Why not?" Hershey asks.

"We were told not to."

"True." I say. "But what harm could it do?"

Sasha's hands shake. "A lot, Ha. You don't understand."

I don't ask again.


	10. The first fight

When I wake up, my shoulder burns. I must have slept on it the whole night. I remember the tattoo needle digging into it yesterday and shudder.

I hear Hershey sit up in the bunk above me.

"Uh, oh." she says.

"What?" I ask.

"We're late."

I spring to my feet. "Why didn't anyone wake us up?" I shout.

We run to the training room. Thankfully, they're only just getting started.

"Glad to see you two are here." Kaden nods. "As I was saying, you will be fighting each other today. Two of the Dauntless leaders are here today to evaluate."

The leadera introduce themselves as Benjamin and Tanya. I feel a bit uncomfortable with two Dauntless leaders watching me.

"One of you won't be fighting today, since there are an odd number of you. That will be you, Ferb. But I can assure you will fight tomorrow. Now, would you all like to see your oponents for today?"

I hope I'm not against Trista.

Kaden flips the board, and I see that I'm going to be the first to fight. My opponent is Willis.

Sasha is up against Hershey. Selina is going against Kita. Poor Sandra is stuck with Trista.

Willis makes his way to the ring, and I slowly follow.

"Sorry," he whispers.

"Don't be afraid to fight me." I whisper.

"Go!" Kaden shouts.

After a moment's hesitation, Willis throws his fist forward. It hits my forehead.

I stumble back as stars cross my vision. I start to collapse. I blink a few times and I can see again.

Willis looks frightened. When he sees that I'm still consious it disappears.

I try to stand up. Willis rushes forward to block me.

I flash out my elbow and it hits the palm of his left hand.

Blackness closes in, and I can only see through a small circle. I close my eyes.

"That's enough!" Kaden yells.

After a few minutes my head stops throbbing and I open my eyes.

I look at the board. Kaden has circled Willis's name.

I get to my feet and stagger out of the ring.

"Are you okay?" Kaden asks.

"Just dizzy," I mumble.

Sasha and Hershey take my place in the ring. Slowly the dizziness fades.

"Go!"

Sasha hesitates. Her hands stay at her sides. Hershey doesn't move. Maybe she's confused as to why Sasha hasn't made a move to attack. Or maybe she's thinking of her home.

Sasha finally pushes Hershey's shoulder. Hershey stumbles back a few steps but doesn't fall. It was a weak move.

Hershey tackles Sasha. They both fall to the ground, Sasha pinned losy beneath Hershey.

Sasha lightly hits Hershey's nose. Hershey's hand flies to her nose. Sasha stares.

"Sorry!"

Hershey pulls her hand from her face. "No need to be sorry." she stands up and kicks Sasha's side. Sasha doesn't fight back.

"Okay!" Kaden circles Hershey's name. "Next!"

Sasha gets up and leaves the ring.

As she passes Trista, she leans forward and whispers. "Stiff."

I glare at her.

Selina and Kita match each other's blows. They can never seem to hurt each other, not even a little bit.

"Stop!" Kaden shouts.

Their hands drop to their sides.

"You two seem to be evenly matched. We might be here all day."

We all laugh.

"Next!"

Sandra surprisingly stays up for a full seven minutes before Trista finally knocks her to the ground.

She may not have been able to beat Trista, but shs's strong. I hope I don't have to fight her.


	11. Second fighting day

I look at the board for today's fighting:

**Trista Willis**

**Selina Ha**

**Sandra Ferb**

**Kita Sasha**

**Hershey**

I'm up against Selina. Kita was able to fight her off, but she's also smart. This might be a tough fight.

"Oh, great," Willis sucks in a breath. "I'll be down in two seconds."

"Don't be so sure," Hershey assured him. "You're about her size."

"It's not always size that matters," Willis mumbles.

"Look," Sasha nudges me. "I'm fighting Kita. She was able to evenly match Selina. Do you think I can beat her?" she pauses, then adds, "I don't really want to."

Before I can respond, Kaden comes in and yells, "Trista, Willis, begin!"

Trista and Willis make their way to the ring.

"Go!"

Not a second passes before Willis punches Trista in the face.

I smile.

Trista winces, then punches Willis in the stomach. Willis doubles over.

In the two seconds it takes him to recover, Trista comes forward to attack again. At the last second, Willis moves to the side and Trista stumbles. She flaps her arms to stay on her feet and we all laugh. She looks like a bird.

Willis snickers.

After regaining her balance, Trista lunges out slams her fist into Willis's chest. Willis falls, winded.

"Found your weakness," Trista sneers, kicking him in the chest. He tries to fight back but fails.

"Stop!" Kaden yells, circling Trista's name. "Are you okay, Willis?"

Willis tries to get up. With a groan he falls again.

"Take him to the infirmary." he orders Hershey.

Hershey leads Willis out of the ring.

It's my turn.

Swallowing fear, I enter the ring and face Selina.

"Go!"

Selina swipes my legs out from under me. I fall.

Her foot hits my stomach and I can't breathe.

"Stop!" Kaden yells, but it sounds quieter.

I am faintly aware of Sasha picking me up and carrying me for a while before I fully black out.

...

I wake up a half hour later. I am not seriously injured. That's good.

I look to my right. Willis seems to be okay, too.

Sasha stumbles in, dragging a bruised leg behind her.

"What happened?" Hershey asks.

"What happened?" Sandra comes in behind Sasha, gripping an arm and grimacing in pain. She laughs. "She was being a little too selfless."

Sasha bites her lip, I guess to keep from insulting her.

A nurse checks Sasha's leg.

"A minor sprain. Try to stay off it today and it will be okay by tomorrow."

"Thanks."

I sigh. I lost the fight again. I'm failing.


	12. Capture the flag

I hear a foghorn blow in my ear and sit bolt upright. I rub my eyes and realize that Kaden blew the foghorn.

"Get up! Get up! Everyone up!" he shouts.

"Why?" Sandra asks. "It's the middle of the night?"

"Just get ready! The train's coming in twenty minutes!"

I roll out of bed and put on my shoes.

"What's with all the racket?" Willis mutters sleepily.

"We're going somewhere. Train's leaving in twenty minutes. Probably nineteen now."

"In the middle of the night? Where are we going?"

"No idea," I shrug.

Sasha leaps onto the ground. "Come on, you three. This should be fun. A midnight adventure!"

"To do what exactly?" Hershey asks.

"I guess we'll find out."

I watch Sasha as she drops behind us. Her leg is better, she's only limping slightly.

Before long we're leaping onto the train, going who knows where?

After a while, Kaden and Ruthie stand up.

"Are we there yet?" a Dauntless girl asks.

Ruthie shakes her head.

"We are playing capture the flag," Kaden explains. "A Dauntless initiation ritual."

They flip a coin, and Ruthie wins. Kaden sighs and snaps his fingers.

"I'll take Eliza." Ruthie says.

Kaden's eyes sweep across the transfers. "Hershey."

**Team Kaden Team Ruthie**

**Hershey- Amity Transfer Eliza- Dauntless-born**

**Kirsten- Dauntless member Selina- Erudite transfer**

**Chris- Dauntless born Nora- Dauntless member**

**Kita- Amity transfer Willis- Amity transfer**

**Camron- Dauntless member Natalie- Dauntless born**

**Ha- Abnegation transfer Angel- Dauntless born**

**Callie- Dauntless born Ferb- Candor transfer**

**Isaiah- Dauntless member Alice- Dauntless born**

**Hayley- Dauntless born Sandra- Candor transfer**

**Sasha- Abnegation transfer Kimberly- Dauntless born**

**Clara- Dauntless born Alexander- Dauntless member**

**Axel- Dauntless born ****Nadia- Dauntless born**

**Trista- Erudite transfer Kyleigh- Dauntless born**

Willis groans. "Why can't I be on the same team as you three?"

"Because," Hershey replies, flicking his arm. "Ruthie chose you for her team."

"Well, duh,"

"Kaden, your team will leave first."

We all line up at the edge of the train. Sasha leta me go first.

"Where do we hide it?" Camron, a Dauntless member, asks, eyes scanning the area.

"Underground?" Trista asks.

Kaden eyes her. "As a former Erudite, you should remember that the flag has to be somewhat visible."

Hershey snickers.

Kaden turns with a slight smile. "And Hershey, as a former Amity, you should be a little nicer."

Hershey sighs.

A Dauntless-born initiate, takes the flag from Camron and hides it deep in a prickly bush.

"Nice thinking, Hayley." another initiate praises. Hayley smiles.

Sasha stands away from the flag area, to distract the other team.

I decide to guard the bush. Unfortunately, Trista does too.

I turn and face away from her.

After a while of silence, Trista says, "I'm not against you, Stiff."

I am shocked by this.

"Then why did you try to kill him?" I demand.

"Who, Willis?" Trista shakes her head. "I aimed that knife above his head."

"That's not where it hit," I remind her. "And if you want me to believe you, stop taunting my friend."

"Look, I was raised in Erudite, trained to hate the Abnegation." She looks away. "There's a reason I left them."

"Not just because of your aptitude?" I ask.

"No, my aptitude was Dauntless. That's why I came here. But I always planned to leave them since I was eight."

Sasha must have noticed us talking, because she comes closer, listening to us.

"What made you decide to leave?" I ask.

Trista stares at the ground. "I... I was in Erudite Headquarters one day. I was eight years old. I was just mind of wandering around. At one point, I was hiding in a closet when the room I was in got locked. There were other people in the room. I didn't dare show myself. But I did peek through a crack."

"What happened?" I ask, shaking slightly. Sasha is fully listening now.

"There were two Erudite I didn't recognize, and two Abnegation. A man and a woman. They laid the man on the table. I think I heard one of the Erudite ask, 'Divergent?' Whatever that means. Anyway, the ther said yes, I think. Then the first one said, 'He's a threat. Inject him.' Then he left."

I gasp.

"Wait, I'm not finished," Trista shakes her head. "The woman shot forward, screaming for them to stop. The Erudite..." Trista chokes suddenly. "He shot her. It was traumatizing." she catches her breath. "Then they injected the man with something. He convulsed for an agonizing minute. Then he stopped."

I don't know what to say.

Sasha only stares at Trista, eyes wide and glassy with tears.

"What?" Trista asks.

Sasha collapses to the ground, sobbing.

_"What?" _Trista repeats.

Sasha looks up. "They were my parents." she shakes uncontrollably. "No one ever told me how they died." She stands up, anger flaring in her eyes. "Why didn't you stop them? Why didn't you step out of the closet? They wouldn't have killed them with a kid in the room!"

Trista bites her lip and walks away.

I walk over to Sasha, who is still on her knees.

She puts her head in my lap. "I never knew what happened. Only that they died."

"It's going to be alright. You know now." I try to comfort her.

"No. Ha, don't you see?" her body shakes into a harder sob. "She could have saved them. She could have saved my parents. But she didn't!"

I hear footsteps approaching. I stand up.

"Come on, we have to guard the flag."

Sasha sniffles and wipes her eyes, then grabs the paintball gun and comes to join me.

Selina, Ferb, and a Dauntless-born girl I don't know come into sight.

Selina stares at the bush and shudders.

Hayley was smart to hide it in prickles.

Ferb shoots at us, and I shoot back. I look down to find bright green paint spattered over my jacket. I stay back. Now that I've been hit, I'm not allowed to play anymore.

Ferb stares at his now pink jacket.

Selina and the Dauntless girl run at Sasha. Sasha shoots at them, but as they get closer, she stops shooting. Selina hits Sasha with a paintball as the Dauntless girl crawls under the bush to figure out how to get the flag.

Finally, she reaches through and grabs the flag with only a few scratches.

...

"That was fun!" Hershey laughs as we climb back onto the train. I support Sasha. She's limping harder now.

"I won," Willis says, smirking.

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious," Hershey says mockingly.

Willis shoots bright blue paint at her leg. Hershey shoots him back.

We all collapse against the wall of the train. Willis and Hershey continue to shoot paintballs at each other.

"Sasha?" I ask.

She doesn't respond. She must be asleep.

Willis shoots at Hershey's forehead. The paintball hits her face.

"Hey!" she tries to wipe it off, then shoots three continuously, hitting Willis with each.

Willis shoots at her. Hershey ducks, and the paintball hits my hand. I wipe off the spattered blue paint and look up just in time to see them kissing. They seem a bit hesitant, or at least Hershey does.

Groaning, I grab my gun and shoot at them. One of my paintballs hits Willis's cheek.

I turn to Sasha.

"How's your leg?" I ask.

She blinks open her eyes. "Doesn't hurt so bad." She sits up. "What did I miss?"

"A lot," I say, pointing at Willis and Hershey. Willis is laughing and wiping the paint off his cheek.

Hershey turns to me and shoots at my arm. I watch as the purple paint spreads across my arm.

"I just cleaned off that arm," I groan, but it turns into a laugh.

Sasha and Willis start shooting paintballs at each other, and then it becomes free-for-all with everyone on the train.


	13. So hard

I watch Willis knock Selina to the ground.

How is it so easy for him? How?

Hershey goes in next. It takes a little while, but she ends up knocking Ferb unconscious.

Unconsious. Why didn't Kaden stop her?

I'm up against Sandra now. I already dislike her. She's a natural Candor. Kind of annoying.

It takes one hit to the jaw before I'm flat on my back. I didn't even land one blow on her.

Kaden sighs and circles Sandra's name. Sandra leaves the ring with a smile.

"Sasha, Kita, go."

Sasha bites her lip and walks in. She's still getting over the truth of her parents' deaths.

"Go!"

Sasha takes a deep breath and hits Kita's jaw. Kita stumbles back, hand over her mouth.

Sasha advances on her, but Kita lashes out. She hits Sasha in the stomach. Sasha recoils. Kita springs back, and Sasha falls to her knees.

"Stop!" Kaden circles Kita's name.

I stare at my own name. Will I ever get to see a circle around _my_ name?

Why is this stage so hard?


	14. Visiting day

I look around the room. Where are my parents? Where's my brother? They would visit me. They understand why I chose Dauntless. Right?

Just when I'm about to panick, I hear Marvin shouting my name.

I run over and hug him. He clings on to me.

"Ha, can you believe this? The Erudite wouldn't let us visit Ashley!" he whines.

"What?" I gasp.

"It's true," Dad says sadly, coming up behind Marvin. Mom follows solemnly.

Dad looks around. "I never thought I'd come back here," he whispers to himself. "So Ha, how do you like it here?"

I smile. "It's great here. There's so much to do. The other night we played Capture the Flag."

Dad nods. "I used to watch the initiates leave to play that game. I always begged my parents to let me go along with them whenever they did, but they didn't budge."

I laugh.

"How's your training coming along?" Mom asks.

"Fine." I lie. I don't want to tell them that I'm doing poorly.

"Do you like it here?" Marvin asks.

I nod. "It's quite interesting."

"When I'm sixteen, I'll probably join you or Ashley." Marvin says. "Even if I get an Abnegation aptitude."

I lean over him. "If you get an aptitude for Abnegation, you should stay in Abnegation." I whisper. "You might not make it through Dauntless or Erudite initiation." I stand up. "Don't worry. You still have nine years to think about it."

"Sasha?" Mom looks over to where Sasha is approaching us with her foster parents. I see Willis behind her with his parents.

"It's great to see you again, Sasha." Mom says with a smile. "Who's your friend?"

"This is Willis. He's from Amity." Sasha explains.

I look around for Hershey and see her running toward us with two little girls following her. I assume they are her little sisters.

The taller one, who looks about twelve, extends her hand to me and introduces herself.

"I'm Anabel, Hershey's sister. Are you a friend of Hershey's?"

I nod. "I'm Ha."

"Nice to meet you."

Hershey bends over the younger one, who can't be more than eight.

"Say hi, Lesly."

"Hi." she waves to us.

Hershey laughs.

Marvin walks over to Lesly. "Who are you?"

Lesly straightens. "I'm Lesly. I'm from Amity. I'm her sister." She says, pointing to Hershey.

"Well, I'm _her_ sister." Marvin says, pointing to me.

Lesly laughs, then Anabel and Hershey. Soon enough, I'm laughing too, and finally, Sasha gives in to a smile.


	15. Failing

"Final day of stage one!" Kaden shouts as we enter the training room the next day. "Today works a little differently."

We all gather around, curious.

"You'll still be fighting, but you may be fighting more than once."

That's the last thing I need.

"Hershey, Trista, you're up first."

Hershey walks into the ring, determination in her eyes.

"Go!"

Trista gives Hershey a hard blow to the face.

I turn away. When I hear Kaden say stop I look again. Trista is still standing.

Hershey scrambles to her feet.

"Willis, Kita, go!"

Willis knocks her to the ground in a two-second fight.

"Stop! Selina, Sandra, go!"

It is a long fight, but Sandra wins.

"Ferb, Kita, go!"

Ferb wrestles Kita to the ground.

"Stop!"

I start to get nervous. Who am I up against?

"Everyone, you may go."

That's strange. I didn't fight.

Kaden stops me and Sasha on the way out and leads us back into the room.

"I didn't want to do this," he mutters. "But I don't have a choice. I need you two to fight each other."

Sasha stares at me, her mouth open.

"But- but she's my best friend!"

I nod in agreement.

"Sorry," Kaden shrugs.

As we walk toward the ring, I say, "It's okay. Don't be afraid to hurt me."

Sasha shakes her head. "I don't want to."

"Go!"

I stand still.

"Ha." Sasha whispers. "If you want to be Dauntless, you need to try."

I shake my head. "I don't want to get you kicked out."

True. But I also don't want to end up factionless. I may have an aptitude for Dauntless, but I'm scared of the factionless. at least I believe I am.

"You have no other option."

I punch her side, a little lighter than I would if it wasn't Sasha.

Sasha twists away, wincing slightly.

I dive for her feet. I trip her, but she stays on her feet.

I lunge at her, but with no force behind it. Sasha lifts her hands. I hit them and fall back, dizzy.

"Stop!"

"Ha!" Sasha gasps. She crouches over me. "Are you okay?"

I nod and shake away the dizziness. "Go find Hershey and Willis. I'll catch up with you."

Sasha hesitates, then leaves.

I lie there for a moment of weakness and vulnerability. I'm failing. Today was the last day to prove myself. And I lost. I'm going to be factionless, I just know it.

I get up and leave the training room with just one thought.

_Even Sasha can beat me in a fight._


	16. Rankings

"Don't you remember what Kaden said about cuts?" Hershey asks.

"Yes," I sigh. "The four lowest ranks get cut."

"But that doesn't mean you. I mean, they secretly rank us all. Who knows? Maybe the Dauntless-born initiates are terrible. Maybe four if them will get cut." she suggests.

"Thanks for the idea, but I highly doubt that." I mutter.

"You don't believe me?" Hershey asks. "Have you seen them?"

"No, not really," I say quietly.

"Why don't I show you?" she stands up. "Come with me." She looks at Sasha and Willis. "You too."

So we all go to the training room, where the Dauntless-borns are having their last fighting session.

"Watch and listen." Hershey whispers.

I press my face against the glass.

"Alice, Clara." I hear Ruthie's voice.

The two Dauntless-born initiates walk into the ring. Clara is shaking uncontrollably. Alice looks confident.

"Go!" Ruthie shouts.

Clara immediately get three blows, one to the jaw, one to the chest, and one to the nose.

She starts crying. "Stop! Please don't hurt me!" she drops to her knees.

Ruthie sighs. "Stop!"

The next two fights have similar things happening.

"Now do you believe me?" Hershey asks.

"A little." I shrug.

Ruthie walks to the door and opens it.

"What are you doing here?" She asks a little sharply. I flinch.

We all stare at each other.

"Go back to dorm. Unless you want me to report you to Kaden."

"I'm sorry. We'll leave right away." Sasha says.

We walk back to the dorm. When we get in, everyone is crowded around Kaden, who hold a small board facing him.

"And here are your rankings." he finishes. He places the board on the wall and leaves the dorm.

I lean forward to see the rankings.

**1. Trista**

**2. Hershey**

**3. Willis**

**4. Ferb**

**5. Sandra**

**6. Selina**

**7. Kita **

**8. Sasha**

**9. Ha**

I see Trista standing by the board, looking quite pleased with herself.

"Ignore her," Kita whispers as she passes me, then goes to congratulate Hershey.

Many congratulate Hershey. Few congratulate Trista.

I just stand there, eyes scanning the bottom of the list over and over.

I'm last. I'll get cut. This is my last night in Dauntless.

I just know it.


	17. Cuts

I anxiously pick at my food. In a few minutes, Benjamin is going to announce the cuts.

Why should I be nervous? I already know I'm going to get cut. What will I do? I don't want to be factionless. It frightens me. The simple thought.

Benjamin speaks over the microphone. "Hello, initiates."

We all turn our attention to him.

"I know you are all waiting to see who got cut. So, by ranking you by your fighting skills all together, we have decided the cuts."

I mm going to get cut. I'm ready to hear my name. I' be leaving for the factionless sector tonight.

"Surprisingly, the four cut initiates are all Dauntless-borns."

Wait a minute. What did he say?

"Kyleigh, Axel, Clara, Hayley, we thank you for trying hard at our initiation. We will see you safely to the factionless sector."

Hershey leans over. "I told you you wouldn't get cut." she whispers.

I smile. "I'm glad I get a chance."

"The rest of you will start stage 2 of training tomorrow. I suggest that you get a good night's sleep. You won't get one for a long time."

Stage 2 must be very difficult.

...

I walk down to the tattoo parlor. I came up with an idea.

Juliana's not there. This time it is a man named Austin.

"So.. What's your idea?" Austin asks.

"See, I just passed stage 1 of initiation," I explain.

Austin nods. "Go on."

"And there's two more. So, on my other shoulder, can you put a third of the Dauntless symbol?"

Austin nods. "Certainly."

I try not to flinch as fiery pain shoots through my arm as Austin inserts the needle. I bite my tongue and try to ignore it.


	18. Simulation

I stare at my Dauntless tattoo, or more like a third of it. After stage 2 I'll get another third added to it, and if I pass stage 3, I'll have it finished.

"Hershey."

I wonder what she's thinking. No one knows what to think.

Sasha sits beside me, looking bold and ready for whatever's coming.

I am too.

Hershey leaves the room, and Sandra is called in. I hope this scares her. I know it is a mean thought, but I'm a little annoyed that I was ranked last.

"Sasha."

Sasha gets up and walks in. It seems like hours before Sasha leaves, looking frightened. Very frightened. As though all her bravery has gone.

Now I'm really nervous.

After three Dauntless-borns, I am finally called in. Sitting in the chair while Kaden waits reminds me of the aptitude test. Are we taking the aptitude test again? Is this so they can see if we're really meant for Dauntless?

Kaden prepares a needle. "It's a fear simulation." he explains. He comes over with the needle and prepares to send it into my neck.

I jump out of the chair.

"No! No! You are _not_ putting a needle into my neck!" I shout.

Kaden sighs. "Fine, then. Give me your arm."

I hold out my arm, but as he gets closer I pull it away.

Kaden sighs. "Let me get this straight. You're willing to get shot in the head by a random guy on a bus, but you're not letting me stick a needle into your arm?"

I wrap my arms around my chest and pull my knees up to cover them.

Kaden groans. "I'll have to do sneak attacks from now on."

He grab my arm and inserts the needle. I yelp.

"I wouldn't be surprised if there were needles in the simulation." Kaden says jokingly. "It'll go into effect in sixty seconds."

I wait for a minute, then fall asleep.

...

When I wake up, I am standing, and it is dark all around me, so dark I can barely see my hands.

The first thing I notice is the floor beneath my feet disappearing. Then I'm falling.

A jolt runs through my stomach. I'm going to die. I'm going to die.

"Help!" I scream. I flail my arms and legs and continue to scream. "Anyone, help!"

No one answers my screams. I must be alone.

I've fallen about fifty feet already. There's no way I'll survive this. And it's going to hurt.

_Just a second and then it'll all be over. _I tell myself.

But I don't want it to be over. I'm only sixteen. I'm too young to die.

Finally giving in, I brace myself for the impact.

It never comes.

...

I sit up on the chair. I'm not falling anymore.

"Calm down," Kaden says, walking back over to the chair. "It was just a simulation. You got out in eight minutes. Just above the average."

I think about the simulation.

"Oh, I get it." I say excitedly. "It was the anticipation of pain, like with the needle. Or in this case, death."

Kaden nods. "We've had a few others figure out their simulations today. It's not uncommon."

"Can I go back now?" I ask.

Kaden nods. "Go ahead." he opens the door.

I wonder what my simulation will be tomorrow. I hope it's not as scary as falling to my death.


	19. Fears

"So," Kita says, leaning over from her table. "What was your fear today?"

"Anticipation of pain." I say. "I was falling to my death. What was yours?"

Kita smiles shyly. "Helessness. The trees at the Amity compound were demolished."

"That's terrible!" I gasp. I turn to Sasha and Hershey. "What were your fears?"

Hershey sighs. "Held at gunpoint. Had to shoot the entire initiation class."

Kita's jaw drops.

Sasha bites her lip.

"What was yours?" I ask.

She hesitates.

"We won't tell." I promise. I look at Hershey and Kita. "Right?"

They nod.

"Fine." Sasha stares at the ground. "I had to watch my parents die in the way Trista explained it."

Willis stumbles into the cafeteria and sits at our table.

"Just... finished... the simulation." he pants.

"Scary?" Hershey asks.

"Caught in a spider web." Willis says, shuddering. "There was this huge spider, crawling right at me..."

"Did it bite you?" I ask.

Willis shakes his head. "It tried to, though."

"How many more days of that?" Sasha groans.

"Five?" Hershey shrugs.

_"Five?"_ Willis stares at Hershey in astonishment. "I'm not going through that five more times!"

"Oh, it's not the same every time." Callie, a Dauntless-born initiate explains, coming up to our table. "It might repeat itself once, if the fear sticks, but otherwise they'll be different."

"Thanks for the encouragement," Willis mutters.

"Hey, be a little nicer." Sasha says jokingly.

"Maybe I'll have to kill the dog from the aptitude test again." Hershey suggests. "Hey, Willis. Maybe your fear tomorrow will be you being the aptitude test dog's next meal!"

"No!" Willis covers his ears. "Don't give me the idea!"


	20. Worse simulation

As soon as I walk in the door, Kaden inserts the needle into my neck. I shriek. It hurts, but at least it was unexpected.

"Not my neck," I groan. "I told you not to put it in my neck."

I climb into the chair and close my eyes, letting sleep tame over.

...

There's a gun pressed against my head. I can feel it. I know it's there even before I open my eyes.

I stare at the gun. My head throbs. Whoever's holding the gun is pushing it hard against my head. And I'm on my back.

I glance up and am shocked to see who's holding the gun.

Ashley.

"Ashley," I choke out. "What are you doing?"

Ashley smiles evilly. "Orders."

"You can't be serious!" I gasp. "Ashley, I'm your sister! We've lived our entire lives together! How can you just kill me now?"

Ashley shrugs. "I'm an Erudite now. What do you expect?"

"I would expect you not to kill your twin sister. I never thought of you as evil."

Ashley laughs. "I already got Marvin. Why not you?"

I try to move out from under her, but she keeps a firm grip.

"How could you?"

I watch her hand close around the trigger.

I shut my eyes. There's nothing I can do.

...

I sit up, my face wet with tears.

Kaden stands over me. "Calm down. It wasn't real. Why don't you explain the simulation?"

I catch my breath. "I'm afraid of her becoming an evil Erudite." I gasp.

Kaden concentrates on this, then nods. "It seems so."

"What was my time?" I ask.

"Eight and a half minutes. The next one might not be as harsh. It might repeat. I guess we'll find out."

"Please don't make me go through that again," I whimper.

"Sorry," Kaden shrugs. "I can't control it."


	21. I'd rather

"What's wrong? What was the simulation?" Sasha asks.

I lean against the railing that hangs over the chasm. "Ashley tried to kill me." I finally blurt out.

Sasha sets a hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry. It was all a simulation. Of course she wouldn't really do that."

"But it felt so real!" I whimper. "I don't want to do it again!"

"Just remind yourself that it's all fake. It's just yourself doing it."

"That's impossible when I'm in the simulation." I stare down at the rough current.

"I can. If I can, you can. Try next time."

"I will."

...

Two unknown Dauntless members sit in the waiting room with us. We all glance at them nervously. What are they doing here?"

"Sasha."

The two Dauntless members get up and follow Sasha into the room.

Sasha stops. "What are you doing? Why are you following me?"

One of them leans over. "We'd like to get a closer look at your simulations, Stiff."

Sasha's eyes widen.

Are my simulations going to get watched? Why are Sasha's getting watched?

"Ha."

I walk in. The Dauntless members are gone.

Kaden grabs my arm without warning and inserts the needle. I fall onto the chair.

_It's all a simulation._

But as soon as I'm asleep, the thought leaves my mind.

...

I feel a cold railing against my arms, and hands gripping them. I stare down and see the angry current of the chasm.

"Let go of me!" I scream.

A voice snickers. "Sure!"

I'm dangling over the chasm.

"Stop!" I kick at them repeatedly, but I never quite reach them.

"Help! Help!" I scream.

No one answers. I am alone, except for my attacker.

It seems like hours that they hold me over the chasm, where I flail and scream.

Then I realize that if they were going to drop me, they would have done it by now. They're just trying to scare me.

I let myself go limp, and I wake up.

...

"Eight minutes, fourteen seconds." Kaden says. "You're doing well."

"Can I keep that one?" I ask. "I'd rather have that than the one yesterday."

Kaden laughs. "And the ones to come."

His words leave me shuddering.


	22. The worst

"I've had enough of the simulations," I finally say as Sasha and I wander the Dauntless compound before our simulations. "Falling to my death, thrown in the chasm, killed by my sister- what's next?"

"At least you're not being watched," Sasha sighs.

"I'm glad I'm not." I shudder. "I wouldn't want them to see how scared I get."

I suddenly hear pounding footsteps.

"Ha! Sasha!" Kimberly calls. "Simulations start in five minutes!"

Sasha stares at her watch. "Lost track of time," she mutters. "Thanks Kimberly. We'll be on our way."

...

Four Dauntless members chase Sasha into the simulation room. Sash looks frightened, as though she knows why they're there. Maybe she does.

I wait for a while. I start thinking about my brother. How is he back home? Does he miss me? Does he miss Ashley?

"Ha."

I get up. As soon as I enter, I jump back.

Kaden sighs.

"Let me inject myself." I demand.

Kaden hands me the needle.

After a few moments of hesitation, I finally insert the needle.

...

The first thing that comes to mind is that I am older. But how old?

_Twenty-five._

It comes to mind just like that.

I am in the Hub, standing among the Dauntless.

The Choosing Ceremony.

I look over to the Abnegation, and see my sixteen-year-old brother.

"Marvin Meeks."

Marvin stands up and walks over to the Choosing bowls. He takes the knife he is offered, slits his palm, and his blood slowly drips onto the coals.

He chose Dauntless.

Marvin comes and sits next to me.

The Ceremony ends, and we all run for the train. As the train comes, Marvin grabs my hand and we jump on the train together. He is silent the whole ride, until we reach the roof. He jumps ahead of me. I lose sight of him.

When I reach the roof, Marvin is gone.

_Where'd he go?_

My heart pounds. I know exactly what happened.

I stare over the edge of the roof, and my brother is lying on the ground, he limbs bent in awkward directions.

I scramble down from the roof, something I never thought I could do.

Although it isn't possible that he could have survived, I have to make sure.

The panic rises within me as I get closer. When Imm only a foot away, I mm ready to burst.

I crouch next to him and check for a pulse.

Nothing.

He's gone.

_He should have chosen Abnegation._

I wake up in tears.

I sit bolt upright and launch myself at Kaden.

"How could you do that to me?" I sob. "Do you have any idea what torture that causes me?" I scream.

"Ha, I can't-"

"Yes you can!" I scream at the top of my lungs. "You ran that simulation. How could you?"

"Please calm down."

"No!"

"Ha, listen. You need to calm down. You're making a big racket. What do you think everyone out there is thinking?"

"_You_ would be causing a racket if you were given a hallucination of your brother falling off a roof!" I snap.

Kaden rolls his eyes. "Remember your aptitude? You're supposed to be a strong Dauntless. You sure aren't showing it."

"You call that simulation _bravery?"_

Kaden sighs. "You spent over nine minutes in that simulation. You're getting worse."

I stomp toward the back door. "I've had enough! Don't expect to see me in training tomorrow!"

"Do you want to be factionless?" Kaden challenges.

I turn and glare at him.

"Just don't give me that simulation again."


	23. Refusal

Everyone leaves the dorm and goes for their simulations.

I don't.

Yesterday's simulation haunted my dreams.

I lie there for about an hour, remembering the way Marvin lay on the pavement.

Finally Kaden comes in.

"Everyone's finished." he says.

"Okay, and what does that have to do with me?"

"It's your turn."

I sit up on the bed. "I'm not going."

"You need to practice. Unless you want to fail your fear landscape." Kaden adds.

"Fear landscape?"

Kadean smiles. "Come on, let's do the simulation."

"No! Yesterday's was the last one for me. I've had enough!"

"There's only two more days, including this one-"

"No!" I stand up on the bed so I'm towering over him. "I'm not going!"

Kaden looks up at me. "First of all- _get down from there._ Second- I'm tired of playing this game. No other initiate has ever done this before. They've been scared of the simulations, sure, but they've never refused to go to training."

I stay on the bed.

"Do you want this to effect your rank?"

I stare down at him angrily. "If this is what it takes to be Dauntless, I don't want it."

Kaden shakes his head. "You chose us. It's not an option anymore."

He grabs my legs and swings me over his shoulder. I scream.

When we get to the simulation room, he sets me on the chair and inserts the needle into my neck. I cry out in pain.

"I'm not playing nice anymore." he snaps.


	24. End of simulations

I got Ashley again yesterday. I discovered that I was used to it. I got out in eight minutes, twenty-six seconds.

Today's the last one.

A large group of Dauntless members follow Sasha into the room. The rest of us have gotten suspicious.

"Just leave me alone!" I hear Sasha scream at them.

When it's my turn, I snatch the needle from Kaden before he can give it to me in the most painful way.

"_I_ will do it." I growl.

...

It's Marvin again.

After nine minutes, forty-three seconds, I sit up on the chair and glare at Kaden.

"I told you not to give me that."

"Ha, listen. I can't control the simulation."

I shake my head. "At least it's over."

...

"Rankings!"

We all crowd around. There is a huge crowd.

"As you all know, you are ranked together this time. There are no cuts yet, just keep that in mind."

I stand on my tip toes to get a better view.

**1. Sasha 3:14**

How did she do it so quickly?

**2. Angel 7:54**

**3. Natalie 7:58**

**4. Eliza 8:07**

**5. Sandra 8:11**

**6. Kimberly 8:15**

**7. Hershey 8:19**

Looks like Hershey did well too.

**8. Alice 8:20**

**9. Kita 8:26**

**10. Trista 8:28**

**11. Ferb 8:36**

**12. Ha 8:47**

Twelfth. I'm near the bottom.

At least I'm not last.

**13. Sandra 8:57**

**14. Willis 9:01**

**15. Callie 9:08**

**16. Selina 9:14**

**17. Chris 9:24**

**18. Nadia 9:40**

If this is how the final ranking will be, I'm headed for the factionless.

Most of the Dauntless-born initiates glare at Sasha on their way out of the dorm.

"Back off!" I yell.

I walk over to where Sasha stands.

"What's the secret? How did you do it so well?"

Sasha shakes her head. "I don't know! Please don't be mad."

"I'm not mad." I promise. "Come on, let's do something fun. They'll have us practicing for fear landscapes tomorrow."

Even having said the words myself, it still makes me shudder.

One thought still creeps at me.

_How did she get out in three minutes, fourteen seconds?_


	25. Divergent

I can't fall asleep. I lay awake thinking about the simulations, and the fear landscapes, and what will end up in mine.

I notice Sasha leaving the dorm. After a minute of contemplating, I get up and follow her.

Sasha walks toward the pit. I silently walk behind her. When she reaches the chasm, she stops and stares down at the water.

"Sasha," I whisper.

Sasha turns.

Realization hits me.

"Sasha, you're not-"

"You don't understand, Ha. There's so much you don't know."

"Is it really something you should kill yourself for? Why don't you talk about it. Is it your parents?"

Sasha shakes her head. She sets her hands on my shoulders and leans in close. I can see she's crying.

"Ha, listen. I..." she pauses and glances around. "I'm Divergent."

_Divergent. _

I remember Trista saying that word. But what does it mean?

"What's Divergent?" I ask.

"It's something very rare. It's where you get more than one faction as your aptitude."

"But that's impossible!" I interrupt.

"No, it's not. It's just rare. I had two results. Dauntless and Abnegation."

I suddenly realize that Sasha is more selfless than brave. I should have noticed.

"I had no life in Abnegation. That's why I came to Dauntless with you. But my Divergence makes me aware in simulations. And Kaden discovered me. That's why so many Dauntless members were watching me. They know, Ha. They know I'm Divergent."

"Is there a problem with that?" I ask. I'm panicking. How can I stop her from jumping in the chasm?

"Yes. Everyone thinks Divergents are a threat to the faction system."

I just stare.

"They're going to kill me. The first chance they get."

"Then escape."

"I can't. They'll find me."

I let it all sink in.

"I can end it all now." Sasha whispers. "Then I won't have to face it."

"You can't!" I gasp. "What about me?"

Sasha sighs. "It's better you lose me now than lose me when they find me."

"This isn't being selfless. And it's not brave to not accept your fate."

"Maybe it's not the selfless or the brave part of me. It's the Divergent part."

My mind goes blank.

"I'm sorry, Ha. You've been my best friend. You don't deserve this. But it's meant to be."

It's now that I realize I can't stop her.

"I'll miss you."

Sasha pulls me into a hug. "You can make it into Dauntless." she whispers. "I know you can."

She walk over to the edge of the bridge. I stare helplessly.

"Be brave." I whisper.

She stares at the water for a moment. Then she grabs the railing and hoists herself over it.

I stare at the spot where she stood only a moment ago. Then my legs buckle and I drop to my knees.

_Why?_


	26. Hatred and emptiness

I don't move. I just sit there crying on the bridge.

Her Divergence killed her. She could have escaped. But she didn't want to face getting killed by Dauntless leadership, so she killed herself.

Sasha, my best friend my entire life, dead. In the chasm. Her doing.

Another thought breaks through.

_It is Kaden's fault._

He didn't have to tell everyone that Sasha was Divergent. He could have kept it secret.

It's all his fault. I hate him. I hate him, and the next time I see him, I will-

I hear quick footsteps approaching. I look up.

"Ha, what's-" he glances at the water and the color drains from his face.

I look at him, and I don't see the kind man who administered my aptitude test. I don't see the man who let me inject myself with the simulation serum.

I see the man who threw me over his shoulder and marched me to the simulation room. I see the man who told everyone about Sasha's Divergence.

I stand up and speak between sobs.

"It's your fault," I choke out.

"What do you mean?" Kaden sputters.

"You told everyone she was Divergent. You didn't have to, though. You could have kept it to yourself, like a kind person would do. You could have saved her. It's quite obvious you weren't cut for Amity or Abnegation. You were probably _glad_ to kill the dog in the aptitude test."

Kaden just stares at me, speechless.

"You know why she jumped? She didn't want to be killed by Dauntless leadership. She wanted to show you that you can't control her. _Because she's Divergent and can't be controlled, right?" _I say sarcastically. "That's all a lie! And you should know that, considering you came from Candor." I shake my head. "If it wasn't going to get me kicked out of Dauntless, I would gladly throw you off this bridge right now."_  
_

Kaden grips my arm. "Alright, enough. I'm going to take you back to the dorm now."

"No!" I shout, pulling from his grasp. I grab his hand and bite down on three fingers. Hard.

Kaden screams and pulls his hand free, staring at the deep marks.

I fall back and hit my head on the bridge.

Everything goes dark.

...

When I wake up, my head throbs slightly.

I slowly open my eyes.

Hershey is staring down at me.

"You're awake. Oh, Ha, I thought you would die too."

I swallow, suddenly remembering.

"It really happened?" I ask.

Hershey bites her lip and nods.

I close my eyes again.

"Hey, Willis! She's awake!"

I open my eyes again. Willis comes back over after staring at something on the wall.

"How long have I been out?" I ask.

"Through the night. Kaden woke us." Hershey responds.

Kaden.

My teeth clench. "It's his fault, you know."

Willis gasps.

Hershey only stares. "How?"

It suddenly occurs to me that they don't know Sasha was Divergent.

"She was Divergent," I begin before realizing they probably don't know what that means.

Willis looks confused. "Divergent?"

"What's that?" Hershey asks.

"Multiple aptitudes. For her it was Abnegation and Dauntless." I explain.

"How was it Kaden's fault?" Willis asks.

"Divergent also means simulation awareness."

"That's how her time was so fast," Hershey whispers.

"Kaden was the only one who knew. Then he started going around, telling everyone about it. Then everyone followed her into into the room to watch her simulations."

Willis only stares.

"That's terrible," Hershey whispers.

Willis tries to change the subject. "You should rest here a little longer. You hit your head hard on that bridge."

"Thanks a lot for making it hurt again, Willis." I mumble.

"Sorry," Willis shrugs. "Anyway, the other initiates are being shown the fear landscape room today. I didn't see why that was important, so we decided to stay here with you."

I nod slowly. "How's Kaden's hand?" I ask bitterly.

Hershey's eyes widen. "_You_ did that?"

"Who did you think it was?" I challenge her. I shake my head. "Biting him felt so good."

Hershey nods. "Sasha's memorial service is later." she leans over me. "I'm really sorry. I know she was one of your best friends."

I say nothing.


	27. Memorial service

I walk between Hershey and Willis on the way to the Pit. My step falters every once in a while. Mostly I just stare forward and try not to cry.

Or am I trying _to_ cry? I'm not sure which one.

We finally make it to the Pit. We find a the other initiates there, even the Dauntless-borns who never really knew Sasha.

Benjamin and Tanya start.

"As you all know, last night Sasha, a transfer from Abnegation, jumped into the chasm." Tanya says softly.

There are a few gasps, probably from the people who didn't know it was suicide.

"She may have been a great Dauntless member. Such a shame."

_Shut up! You would have killed her anyway!_

How can she try to do this service? She knew nothing about Sasha.

I squirm away from Hershey and Willis and march over to where Tanya stands.

"I'm sorry, but you didn't know her." I say quietly. "I knew Sasha nearly all my life. It's only fair that I speak."

Tanya looks at me, surprised, eyes slightly narrowed. Finally she nods, hesitantly, and steps back.

I step forward.

"Sasha was my best friend since I was only three years old. We grew up in Abnegation together. I saw her every day for thirteen years."

The people of Dauntless have hushed by now.

"When we were seven, her father's Divergence was discovered by the Erudite. Her mother tried to protect him. They both died."

I swallow back tears.

"A kind couple took her in. She lived with them, and she loved them, but she had no life in Abnegation."

I stop speaking. If know if I try to talk I'll start crying.

When it clears, I start again. "After her aptitude test, she came back shaking. It was because her administrator had just told she was Divergent. Dauntless and Abnegation. When I chose Dauntless, she decided to come with me. She was no doubt selfless, she let everyone win most of the fights. But when the simulations started, her Divergence was discovered. So she wouldn't be hunted down the rest of her life, she decided to end it all."

I turn to face Tanya.

"Are you happy she died?"

Tanya blinks. "What?"

"Are you happy that the threat of a Divergent is gone? Because you shouldn't be."

I leave the Pit, not waiting for an answer.


	28. Underwater

I walk behind everyone on the way to the fear landscape room, glaring at the back of Kaden's head at every opportunity.

Ruthie assigns her fears to the Dauntless-borns and Kaden assigns us his fears.

I get trapped underwater.

Hershey looks around nervously as the fear she is given is drowning.

"Isn't that basically the same exact thing?" Willis asks.

"Since you spoke, Willis, I'm giving you one of your simulation fears that just happened to be one of my own." Kaden says smugly.

"Wh-what?"

"Trapped in a spider web."

"No!" Willis shrieks. Kaden laughs.

He's so cruel.

I ignore all of them until it is Willis's turn. I glare at Kaden as he thrashes around for three minutes.

I stumble forward as my turn comes.

"It's not like usual simulations," Kaden explains. "This time you're aware."

"I know that!" I snap.

Kaden visibly flinches, then whips out the needle and plunges it into my neck. I shriek.

"Quiet!" he snaps. "You give the worst reaction out of everyone."

"When did you become so mean?" I ask just before I fall into the simulation.

...

When I start to move my arms, I have to struggle to do it because the air around me is thick.

Where am I?

Then I realize that it isn't air at all; it's water.

That's when I realize my eyes are burning and I close them. My lungs scream for air, but I can't breathe.

I reluctantly open my eyes and glance up. The water stretches on for miles, or so it seems. I can't see the top.

I'm too deep to make it to the top in time.

My lungs burn. I thrash as I continue to hold my breath. I can't breathe or I'll drown.

Suddenly I remember the fear landscape room. I'm only sitting in the chair, probably squirming around while everyone laughs. None of this is real; it is just Kaden's fear.

I laugh in the simulation. _This_ is one of Kaden's worst fears?

I wake up in the chair.

"Three minutes, forty-three seconds," Kaden mutters. "Next,"

Trista bites her lip and walks forward.

I walk over to Hershey and Willis.

"It was terrible!" Hershey gasps. "I was running, and then I fell into deep water. I was so exhausted I couldn't swim!"

"I was really deep." I explain.

"I couldn't move, and that spider was coming straight at me!" Willis gasps.

"Looks like you and Kaden have something in common," Hershey says smugly.

Willis glares at her. "If you dare suggest that Kaden and I are alike again..."

We laugh and laugh and laugh.


	29. Last day

I wake up and immediately wish I didn't. Today is the day we go through our fear landscapes. The last day of initiation. Then, if we don't have fast enough times, we get kicked out of Dauntless. We become factionless.

I shudder, remembering my first encounter with the factionless.

When I was about nine, my mother asked me to bring food to them. About three of them approached me. They looked so scary, like they weren't well cared for, and I got so frightened I dropped the food and ran.

And now I have high chances of joining them.

Hershey climbs down from above me and shakes Willis.

"Wake up!" she shouts.

"Why should I?" Willis mutters.

"Fear landscapes today!" Hershey replies.

"Thanks for the reminder, now let me sleep," Willis groans.

Hershey and I laughs.

Willis sits up and throws a pillow at us, then rolls back over.

Hershey throws the pillow back.

This continues for a minute until finally Willis throws the pillow off to the side.

I grab the pillow and toss it to Hershey, who throws it at Willis again.

Willis angrily snatches the pillow and stands up.

"You win!" He grumbles.

"Finally!" Hershey cheers.

...

"All Dauntless-born initiates, please report to the fear landscape room for the final test."

Kimberly drops her fork and stares at the loudspeaker. Biting her lip, she stands and starts for the door.

"Good luck!" I call out.

Kimberly nods, then leaves.

I pick at my food, my thoughts scattered.

I almost failed stage one. I was ranked lowest in the transfer initiates. Then I was ranked twelfth in stage 2. I'm not doing well. I won't make it into the top ten. In order for that to happen there will have to be six initiates with worse simulation times. And considering it took me almost four minutes in one obstacle... I don't want to think about it.

"Transfers, please report to the fear landscape room for the final test."

I glance at Hershey and Willis. Together we stand up and walk along the elevated path to the room where we will face our fears.

Kita walks behind us, shaking.

I try not to think about what will be in mine.

We walk in and see Angel stumbling out of the room.

Oh, great. That's satisfying.

"Here's the order you will go in." Kaden hangs up a sheet of paper. "Opposite rankings."

Selina, Willis, me, Trista, Kita, Sandra, Hershey.

I'm going in third.

Kaden injects Selina, then sends her into the room.

On the screen, I watch her jump at least a foot into the air from things I can't see. After a while of silly reactions, it is Willis's turn.

Willis walks boldly into the room. I see him twitching, like he's trying to escape something, brushing random things off him, running from air.

Then it is my turn.

Kaden injects me with the serum, then sends me in.


	30. Fear landscape

At first it is only darkness. Then I realize I'm falling. There's nothing around me to grab. I'm free falling. I will die. I've already fallen at least twenty feet.

I start to panic. I look up, hoping to see someone holding a rope, but instead I see nothing. And my eyes are open.

Then I start to realize that I've been here before. I remember this. I've done this already.

I have to wake up and go do my fear landscape.

That's when it hits me. This _is_ my fear landscape. And this is my first fear.

Soon I notice that I'm not falling anymore. The fear has moved on.

It is light now. I can see.

I look down and stare at the knife in my hands. I recognize this knife. It is the one I held in the aptitude test.

That means the dog must be coming. I look up and sure enough, the attack dog is running straight for me.

I close my eyes and thrust out the knife.

Then I'm in darkness again.

I wonder how many fears I'll have. This isn't so bad. For now, at least.

Soon I realize my feet aren't on the ground anymore. Am I falling _again?_

No, there are hands around my arms. And I'm staring into water.

I scream and try to thrash out of their arms.

_Calm down. It's a simulation._ I tell myself.

Is this how Sasha got through her simulations?

I look at my attackers and smile.

"What's the point in throwing me? I didn't do anything wrong, but I don't really care if you throw me or not. So go ahead. You won't _really_ hurt me."

The chasm and my attackers fade. And I am standing on a roof.

I look up. Someone dressed in blue takes out a gun and presses it to my head.

An Erudite is threatening me. But I am not afraid of the Erudite. I just don't like them.

"Jump." The Erudite man growls.

I look down. I am at least fifty feet in the air.

"W-why should I?" I ask nervously.

"It's either that or I shoot you."

Biting my lip, I look down again.

"You're not going to shoot me." I mutter.

"Don't be so sure." The man holds the gun steady. "You have five seconds to jump."

I step off the roof.

When the dark clears, I see people standing in front of me, dressed in old faded clothing.

The factionless.

One of them smiles, and I notice that her teeth are nearly rotted. I back away.

A man walks up to me and says, "You're one of us now."

I stare at him. "But... but initiation isn't over yet!"

He leans closer. "They recounted the results. Kyleigh from Dauntless scored higher than you. So, she's back in Dauntless, and you're factionless."

I take a deep breath and slowly let it out. Then I punch him in the face.

I turn and walk into darkness.

Then I see hundreds of Abnegation members. Possibly the whole of Abnegation.

Oh, how I've missed them. I hurry toward them.

"Hi, everyone! It's good to see you again." I say happily.

It starts with the people closest to me and moves back. They all turn away from me, one by one.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see my parents and brother staring at me, expressionless.

"What did I do?" I ask.

"You left us," Dad says, and turns away.

"I'm not selfless!" I yell. "I didn't belong in Abnegation!"

"I can see that." Marvin snaps.

Since when does my seven-year-old brother talk sharply? My selfless brother?

I stare at the ground. "Fine. I'll go."

The Abnegation fade into the distance, and I can hear the roar of water from the chasm.

Sasha stands by the railing, staring at the water.

I run forward.

"Sasha, your Divergence doesn't matter. You can escape the Dauntless leaders. It will be-"

Sasha cuts me off.

"This isn't because I'm Divergent." she rolls her eyes. "It's so that you can get into the top ten."

"Wait, what?" I freeze.

Sasha stares at the ground.

No. It can't be because of me.

"I'll make it in anyway. Please don't jump." I plead.

Sasha shakes her head and steps forward.

I don't watch this time.

Soon I feel a gun in my hand. I look up and Ashley's grinning at me.

"Ready to go?"

"To do what?" I ask, running my fingers over the gun.

Ashley laughs. "To kill off the Divergent, of course."

"What? I'm not doing that!"

"Sasha was already taken care of. Now come on, there are many in Abnegation. Let's go, they'll be easy to find."

"Ashley, they're the people we've lived with our whole lives!"

"That's in the past." she sneers. "In fact, here's a Divergent."

An Abnegation woman sits tied to the chair in front of us.

Ashley raises her gun.

"Shoot her, or I'll shoot you."

_This isn't real._

I point my gun at Ashley and fire.

I turn away.

_It wasn't real. It wasn't real!_

I walk into a room, and Ashley has knocked me to the ground, pressing a gun to my head.

"Good-bye, Ha."

"Ashley-" I gasp.

Ashley cuts me off by slamming the gun into my jaw. I shriek.

"I've already found Marvin. I've found our parents. They're gone. And now it's your turn."

"Never!" I try to grab the gun, but Ashley fires it.

And I'm in darkness again.

I'm at the Choosing Ceremony nine years later. The sixteen-year-olds are being called to the stage.

"Marvin Meeks."

Oh no. Not this fear again.

But it seems different this time.

Marvin seems to hesitate, the knife hovering above his hand. His eyes slide across each of the faction bowls.

Finally he speaks.

"I am Divergent. Help me make my choice."

I gasp.

Many Erudite surround him.

"No!" I scream. "Get off him!"

I try to move, but I can't.

I hear a gunfire, and everyone backs away.

Marvin struggles on the ground, shot in the chest.

"Marvin!" I try to move forward, to at least comfort him, but I'm being held back.

Marvin coughs up a mouthful of blood, then falls back.

...

The lights lift. I'm in the fear landscape room.

Kaden approaches me.

"Eleven minutes, two seconds. Great job. Trista, it's your turn!"

Trista walks over. As she passes me, she leans over and whispers, "You were crying."

I simply say, "So will you, when you're factionless."


	31. The end

I sit nervously across from Hershey and Willis at the table.

"Ten fears," I sigh. "Hard ones too. Like my sister trying to kill me."

"What did you do?" Hershey asks, eyes widening.

"I reminded myself that it wasn't real and shot her. The fear moved on."

"I had ten fears too." she nods.

"I had eleven," Willis groans. "I heard Trista panicked in hers. Turns out one of her fears was her fear landscape."

I change the subject. "So, if we make it into Dauntless-"

"Way to be positive." Willis interrupts.

"-what jobs do you want?" I continue as if the interruption never happened. "I'm thinking I want to train the transfer initiates. I'd do a better job than Kaden. And if there are any Divergents, I'll hide it."

Hershey nods. "I think I'm going to... Hm... I'm not sure. Maybe I'll be a leader. If I get there fast enough. Otherwise... I guess I'll work in the control room. Depends."

"I've got no idea what I want to do." Willis shrugs.

"Sasha should've gotten to the top of the list. She should have had first pick."

Of course she wouldn't have chosen leader, though. Being the selfless person she is, she would choose guarding the fence.

"Listen up!" Benjamin's voice booms into the microphone. "Your final ranking are on this screen!"

I squint at the screen to see who got in. It's then that it hits me that I won't be in the top ten. I'll be factionless. I nearly failed stage one.

I read the first three.

**1. Angel**

**2. Eliza**

**3. Hershey**

Hershey's in. And near the top, too. I flash a smile at her, then continue reading.

**4. Chris**

**5. Selina**

**6. Kimberly**

I knew she would get in. I was hoping she would.

**7. Ferb**

**8. Kita**

**9. Willis**

Kita and Willis made it. I'm happy for them. At least they'll get to move on. I don't want to keep going. Tears spring to my eyes. I didn't make it. My name will be lower than tenth. Still, I read on, dread filling me.

**10. Ha**

What? I'm tenth. I made it! I made it in! I just made the cutoff!

Hershey squeals. "You made it in!"

I slowly smile.

I read on, to see the factionless names.

**11. Alice**

**12. Natalie**

**13. Sandra**

**14. Callie**

**15. Trista**

**16. Nadia**

I feel sad seeing some of those names. I never really liked Sandra, though I can't say I won't miss her. I definitely won't miss Trista, but I still feel a little bad for her.

I knew Nadia wouldn't make it. It must feel terrible to see your name at the bottom. Sometime tonight before she leaves I should comfort her.

I stare at my name in the tenth slot, then my eyes drag to Angel's name at the top. That's where Sasha should be. I should be eleventh. I should be factionless.

With a sigh, I switch my thoughts to my future in Dauntless. Since I just made the cutoff, I'll probably end up guarding the fence, but I don't really mind that. At least I'll have Willis and Kita to keep me company. And Hershey will probably make it to Dauntless leader.

Besides, even with a job as a guard, I can still train initiates.

I hope Ashley got into Erudite.

Hershey comes back to the table with three plates piled with Dauntless cake.

"Time to celebrate!"

I smile. Choosing Dauntless was worth it.


End file.
